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 In Memory of Pixie.


I've been sitting here trying to find the right words to describe Pixie and how we feel about her. As I've said many times before, there are no words to adequately describe Pixie.

She came to PMR through Jackie P. as a tiny puppy. She was so beautiful and we had such high hopes for her. She looked perfect, but she couldn't walk more than a couple of steps without falling over. Her little legs would keep going as she lay on her side, so that she looked like a beautiful little wind up toy. For a long time, Jackie had to help Pixie eat because Pixie wasn't coordinated enough to do it on her own.

For a while, we thought of Pixie like a child with Down's. But, as John was the first to point out, if you looked closely at her eyes, you could see the determination and the plotting. She used to walk the length of the house. Then one day, it clicked, and we saw it for what it truly was. Pixie was practicing walking in a straight line. The more she practiced, the better she got. Then, she started running. My goodness, could that little girl fly. She could barely walk without falling over every couple of feet, and she was a wobbly little thing, but she could run like a jack rabbit. The faster she went, the more natural and normal she looked. Pixie changed the way we looked at her and thought about her.

She knew she wasn't the same, but she refused to accept it or give up. Instead, she very tenaciously set about overcoming those challenges one at a time. And, goodness, did that little girl have a temper. She had beautiful hair, but she hated to be groomed. Pixie had no interest in being held still. She bit the crap out of Jackie P., Jan, me and John several times. Of course, John said they were Pixie kisses and would tell her over and over again "I love you too, Pixie." when she was leaving little bloody teeth prints on his hands and arms. We didn't like being bitten, but you just had to laugh when Pixie was really angry. Her ears turned bright red and then it spread to her whole head and she would start hissing and cutting her eyes and snapping like a turtle. When you held her very still so she couldn't bite, she would get very still and appear to be calm --- until you let go, then she lashed out again. Pixie was smart. And, all that life and fight made us smile, because it meant that Pixie wasn't giving up or giving in.

I won't detail all of Pixie's struggles, but the last few months have been hard as we watched her grow tired. She played less and less. Instead of running, she walked very slowly and mostly lay around. She used to sing to us, but the songs stopped. Jackie and I sat together at one of John's operas one evening and when the soprano finished, Jackie and I looked at one another and said, "Pixie could do that."

On Thursday, Pixie didn't want to eat. On Friday morning, I called Dr. Carroll and reached out to the board. Dr. Carroll did blood tests on Saturday and Monday and put Pixie on antibiotics, but after much discussion, we all had to accept the fact that the kindest thing we could do for Pixie was let her go. Pixie did things her way. She wasn't interested in what anyone else thought she could do or should do, she was interested in what she wanted to do. As John said last night, Pixie was a real fighter.

If anything brings me comfort right now, it is knowing that Pixie no longer has to fight. She can run like the wind and walk without wobbling. Pixie was all Yorkie trapped in an imperfect body – until last night. We set her free from that trap last night so that she can run free. I have to say, Pixie was worth every moment.

Thank you for all the kind words and the prayers.

Dana
 


 

"PIXIE"  was a Special Needs puppy

her story below.........

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Pixie will only be adopted by a VERY special home.  Someone who will understand her needs and her limitations and will be VERY patient with her.  She will NOT go to a home that has children.



I believe Pixie’s page gives a lot of information about her, but Pixie has really made a great deal of progress the past several months and I wanted to give you some additional information about Pixie that I believe is important.

Pixie is a special needs Yorkie.



Pixie is not a perfectly normal little Yorkie girl. Pixie is beautiful and wonderful and fun, but she is not normal. Pixie’s brain did not fully develop and, while we believe she is a delightful little dog, she is not a good match for just any family. In many ways, Pixie will be a perpetual puppy. Pixie usually knows what she wants to do, but her body does not always cooperate, and she has to work extra hard to make her body do things that come easily and naturally to other dogs. Pixie is very determined. She has spent the last year repeatedly surprising her foster parents and her vets.

Please indulge me while I list some of the positives of living with Pixie, as well as some of the negatives. Pixie stumbles and tumbles and trembles and veers and often falls over when she is walking or standing. She seems to have greater control when running than walking and she loves to run. Her motor skills have continued to improve over the past year, but she will never be normal. She sometimes goes in a diagonal direction when she wants to walk in a straight line. She sometimes has tremors, similar to Katharine Hepburn. She isn’t having a seizure, it is just Pixie. She often falls over, but she gets back up and goes on her way again, sometimes choosing to rest a moment before continuing on. We have been grinding Pixie’s food up and mixing it with water to make it easier for her to eat. In the beginning, Pixie lacked the coordination to chew and swallow. She is doing much better, but it takes Pixie a long, long, long, long time to chew and eat just dry kibble. She is a good little eater, but a messy eater.

On the topic of Pixie’s diet, it is likely that she will always be on a special diet. She also takes one pill per day to help with her neurological issues. The medication is not expensive, but it is a cost consideration and Pixie will need to continue on this medication every day for the remainder of her life.

Because of Pixie’s issues and challenges in the motor skill department, Pixie is not housebroken. She gladly goes outside when the opportunity is presented, but she is clueless about holding her bladder. It is highly unlikely (if not downright impossible) that Pixie will ever be housebroken. She will gladly wear puppy panties with a sanitary napkin, but they need to be changed regularly. Any family wishing to adopt Pixie must have a full understanding and agreeability about this issue.

Pixie loves to play and just walk or run. Her favorite toy when playing by herself is a baby jungle gym. Pixie gives it quite a workout. She sleeps well at night, but does get up and move about from time to time in the middle of the night. This is a good time to remind you that she is not housebroken. Also, Pixie likes to find little cubby holes and hide. When you've just about given up on finding her, she will reappear behind you with her big innocent look as if to ask you what you're looking for. She will often come when called, but if she is in a hiding mood, you won't hear a sound out of her.

Pixie is often quiet, but she is sometimes anything but quiet. Most of the time, Pixie is very quiet. But --- She is a dog, and she barks. She barks when she wants her breakfast and when she hears the other dogs bark, and when the doorbell rings, and when she just wants to hear herself. And, Pixie sings. It is not pretty, nor is it quiet, but it is funny - at first. It is loud and piercing. We’ve often wondered if Pixie is preparing to audition for the role of opera soprano. It can be funny – for a few moments – but Pixie doesn’t always choose the best times to perform. Usually, picking her up and talking quietly to her will get her to stop. Usually. She doesn't sing for us very often any more, but we used to get regular concerts, so we make no promises with regard to her concert schedule.

Pixie is beautiful, but she does NOT like baths or being brushed and her wavy, baby-fine hair tangles easily. She is pretty good about keeping her pony tail in, but it sometimes takes two of us to put her hair up (one to hold her and one to put the hair up). In many respects, getting Pixie to cooperate is like getting an 18 month-old little girl to cooperate if you want her to be still.

Pixie has no biting inhibitions. She is not aggressive or dangerous, but she does bite. She sometimes bites to play (much like a young puppy) and she sometimes bites when she is angry if she can get a grip on you. Pixie does not have a mean bone in her little body, but she knows what she wants and what she doesn’t and she does act out. We watch how we hold her so that we can keep clear of her teeth when she is angry. This is not a big deal in our home, but we’re used to Pixie. Her adoptive family will need to be very aware of this aspect of Pixie’s personality in order to keep everyone safe, especially any children that may be exposed to Pixie even briefly. Her bite is like that of a puppy, not a full grown pit bull, but puppies have sharp little teeth and so does Pixie.

Also, Pixie has no idea about heights and will walk right off the edge of a cliff (or a bed) and will jump out of your arms given half a chance. For this reason, she is never allowed on the couch or the bed unless we can closely monitor her. Pixie makes no attempt to break her falls or land on her feet if she falls. Because of her size, falling from even a short height can be dangerous for Pixie. Remember, Pixie moves in fits and starts. She goes from zero to ninety in 0.02 seconds. Her adoptive family will need to be very aware of this aspect of Pixie’s personality.

For a long time, we thought of Pixie much like a child with Down’s syndrome. Over the past year, we have adjusted that thinking and see her more like a person with MS. She has a higher mental capacity than we first appreciated, but she has definite challenges in the motor skill department. The fact remains that Pixie has special needs and always will. We love her and think she is a delightful dog, but it is very important that anyone considering adopting Pixie have a good understanding of what Pixie is and what she is not. Pixie provides hours of laughter and enjoyment and love, but she also brings challenges and occasionally frustration. Pixie seems to have a short attention span and can become easily distracted. At other times, she is extremely determined and focused. She seems to understand that if she works hard enough, she can do what she wants. For example, Pixie spends hours just walking. After watching her closely, we discovered that Pixie was neither wandering aimlessly nor nervously pacing, she was practicing. Each day, Pixie's coordination improved and she became more confident. The more Pixie does, the more Pixie can do. Even the shape of Pixie's eyes have changed over the past several months.

Dogs with Pixie’s condition are extremely rare, so there is much we do not know about what to expect for her future, including any future medical complications. We have every reason to expect Pixie to live a very long, healthy, happy life. We have asked the vets what to expect for Pixie, but survivors with her condition are so rare, that they just don't know. Nobody can give any guarantees about Pixie's future. I wouldn't necessarily categorize Pixie as high maintenance, but she is definitely special needs.
If you have other, specific, questions about Pixie, please feel free to ask. The more you know about Pixie the better. Her foster mom can be reached by sending an e-mail to dana_bts@yahoo.com.

Sincerely,

Pixie’s foster mom

FM said it was time for me to give you an update.  She hasn’t written since I went to see Dr. Ducote’ back at the end of June, so she decided I needed to do it. 

 Well I’m now almost 7 months old.  I should be able to be fixed soon, but FM was waiting until my big teeth came in and they have been slow in doing that.  FM said that they are just now starting to come in.  Dr Cooper said that they should have started when I was 4 months old, but I guess I’m slow in that department too.  Anyway when I get fixed, they will pull out the baby teeth, as the big teeth are coming behind them.

 I’m doing really well, I still love to run and play.  I still bite some, but I’m doing so much better since Mom put me on the amitripltyline.  I have to take it every day and it helps me not be so compulsive, with my biting and my running.  Don’t get me wrong, I still bite and run, but just not as much.

 FM said that as soon as I get fixed, I’ll be ready for my forever home.  It has to be a home that will be patient and will accept me as I am because I’ll never be any different.  The will also have to accept my limitations. I can NOT go to a home that has any children because of my biting. 

FM decided I needed a new hair cut and she gave me a puppy cut.  She cut off all the black hair and I’m a beautiful silver color, her favorite.  She had to take me down to Aunt Jan’s to have her help her finish me because she couldn’t hold me and do the front end.  I’m just a wiggle squirm butt. 

 Don’t you think I look pretty now?  I’m all grown up and FM said I’m so beautiful. 

 Well, I’m pooped from being at Aunt Jan’s so I’m going to go take a nap.  If you want any other information about me, please write FM at jackiep1@comcast.net.

 Love

 Pixie Poo


Update 6/21/06

Yesterday I took Pixie to see Dr Ducote', since we had already talked about doing an MRI and I knew she would have to be put under for that, I did not feed her, in case she wanted to do it.

 Dr Ducote’ was pleased with her progress, that she was walking better, and seemed stronger than she did before.  She did say Pixie has tremors and she sways her head and trunk when she is standing still.  I had also noticed that. 

 Dr Ducote' sent her off to do the MRI and I picked her up today.  The news is both good and bad.  She does not have something that is fixable, but it will not get any worse. 

 She has a very rare embryonic defect and there is no known treatment and it is not a progressive lesion.  It is called agenesis of corpus callosum.   Dr Ducote' said that she has never seen it in a dog before, even though she studied it in school. 

 From what I understood there is like a bridge in the brain between the right and the left side where the nerves and neurons cross over and Pixie's did not form and that the space is filled with CSF (cerebrospinal fluid).

This is what Dr Ducote’ said at the end of her report.

“Pixie seems to have improved somewhat, perhaps compensating for her deficits to a degree. She may continue to adapt as she matures, so I believe she has a fair chance to have a good quality of life. Her behavioral problems may continue to be a challenge, as she may not be able to respond to operant conditioning the way most dogs do. House training and chewing / biting will probably continue to some degree. She will need to be with owners who will understand / be able to tolerate these problems.”

An Interview with a WI "Puppy Farmer"

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